Just for explanation's sake, for example, even though Civil War did not conclude until February 2007, it was well underway in 2006, and thus included in full in this article. This is in contrast, for example, to Spider-Man: Reign which started in December, but only 1 part out of 4 was released in 2006, and thus will not be discussed until the 2007 Year in Review.

All, in all, it appears that the Spider-Man titles peaked in quality during 2004, because 2006 continues the downward slide that began with 2005's disappointing storylines - and from where I'm sitting at the moment, 2007 only perpetuates that trend. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So let's start with the Civil War titles, the pre-cursers and the aftermath, beginning with one of the most visible elements of that storyline...

Iron Spidey
Actually, the true title of the story arc was "Mr. Parker Goes to Washington," (a nod to the 1939 Jimmy Stewart film classic Mr. Smith Goes to Washington) but "Iron Spidey" just sounds cooler, and sums up what was really the pre-eminent feature of this story, Spider-Man's new costume. The story ran from Amazing Spider-Man #529-531.

Naturally, most of Spidey fandom greeted the new duds with the usual amount of skepticism, which wasn't helped by the release of the first drawing, where the thing looked hideous. But, that was just a preliminary sketch, and it looked much better in the comics. Due to its red and yellow color scheme, as well as its creator, Tony Stark, it was quickly dubbed "Iron Spidey." Stark developed the costume to replace the one that had been destroyed in Spider-Man's fatal thrashing at the hands of Morlun II during The Other. The costume had way too many features for me to list here (including the ability to glide modest distances, as well as project difference appearances, somewhat like the old symbiote costume, tracking systems, the ability to take a bullet, filters to keep out nasty gasses and other particles, etc.), but it was a serious upgrade to Spider-Man's arsenal, and frankly, one that was long overdue. I didn't really care for the color scheme, and I thought that the mechanical arms were a bit silly and nonfunctional, but I was glad to see Spidey get a new, albeit temporary look, which nicely coincided with his becoming a full fledged Avenger.

Of course, Stark didn't give Peter the snazzy new suit because he was a fashion disaster, and we soon find out that something so ominous is in the air, that Tony feels he can trust no one, not even Captain America, whom of course, he has only fought beside as an Avenger for oh, more than a decade Marvel time. But, he does feel that he can trust Peter Parker, whom he has spent relatively little time with, and at best, has always been wary of his wall crawling alter ego, his hot temper, disrespect for authority, you name it. However, in issue #529, he tells him that because he feels such a bond with Peter, he wants to make him his protege, both in his civilian and extra curricular lives. Uh yeah, sure…

After this ambiguous and suspicious exchange, Stark and Peter fly to Washington DC, where Tony will testify on the proposed Superhuman Registration Act, which would require that all super humans register their powers and real identities with the government. Peter's first reaction is predictable, but honest - he thinks it's a crazy idea. Stark seems to agree, at first, and claims that he is going to speak against it. When Tony faces the self-important, self-righteous, and corrupt scumbags euphemistically called congressmen, he (and Peter) speak out on behalf of the superheroes who ply their trade anonymously, out of fear for their loved ones, and also so that they can work outside the constraints of society, since the bad guys don't always want to play by society's rules.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, the self-righteous, self-important, and corrupt scumbags actually have some good points - that there are numerous other agents of society such as police, judges, and prosecutors who perform their duties without the anonymity offered by masks, and wouldn't superheroes be able to function better as sanctioned and compensated agents of the government?

As if to punctuate Stark's points, the Titanium Man appears and threatens to kill Stark, ostensibly to keep him from speaking out against the Registration Act. Surprise, surprise, Spidey appears (no coincidence, of course, with Peter Parker also in town, along with Tony Stark, long suspected of being Iron Man),and after the requisite battle, drives the Titanium Man away. However, this was a set-up, as later we see Iron Man give Titanium Man a briefcase full of money on behalf of "Mr. Stark." It just so happened that during his battle with Spider-Man, Titanium Man conveniently gave up some juicy sound bites about how with Stark dead, there will be no one left to speak for the superheroes. Tony's stated objective to Peter (although he flagrantly lies about setting up the Titanium Man situation - so much for taking Peter into his confidence) was to muddy the waters just enough to slow the momentum for the Registration Act down, and wait for Congress' attention to be diverted elsewhere, as it inevitably would.

However, tragic events in Stamford, Connecticut thwart those objectives.

Civil War
Now, before I begin my discussion of Civil War, there are going to be two answers that are automatic "fails" to any questions I pose:

1. Because (insert name here) was a Skrull!

2. That was covered in Civil War: Whatever the Hell .

Civil War got underway in 2006 and ended, belatedly, in early 2007. It was a 7 part miniseries, supplemented by the 11-part Frontline that was supposed to tell a complete, coherent story. To find out in 2008 that certain plot points were because either Skrulls were impersonating someone or acting behind the scenes is a deus ex machina to explain away bad writing or plot or character inconsistencies. Also, I already plopped down over $50 for all of Civil War and Civil War: Frontline. I should have all of my questions answered in those stories and not have to keep shelling out cash because "oh - that was covered in Civil War: Insert Name of One Shot Designed to Bleed the Customer Dry Here.

Fair enough? Let's continue.

Civil War actually had a prologue, the New Avengers one-shot, simply called The Illuminati (the name of course, is taken from the "real" Illuminati, a secret society which supposedly controls the events on planet Earth cloak and dagger style, along with the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, depending on what kind of conspiracy nut you are). This is actually a pretty good opener for the Civil War debate, because as written by Brian Bendis, it presents both the pros and cons of an organized superhuman force.

In the wake of the Kree-Skrull War (which took place in The Avengers in the early 1970's), Iron Man believes that the fractured nature of the superhuman community made the Earth vulnerable to both races, whereas if they were united under one umbrella, any invader would have to think twice before taking them on and attacking the planet. However, Prince Namor the Sub-Mariner, although usually a dick, sees just what a disaster this could be, as does the Black Panther, whose country Wakanda is hosting this covert meeting, and eventually Mr. Fantastic. Who runs this superhuman army? Who controls it? To whom is it accountable? And who polices disputes when the super humans fight amongst themselves? Interestingly enough, that's one of the reasons that Norman Osborn and his cronies in the Businessmens' Secret Cabal (BSC) began a program of creating supervillains to match wits with the heroes, to keep the good guys occupied fighting costumed bad guys so that they would remain splintered, and not band together and begin setting themselves in positions of authority over the rest of humanity (see the first twelve issues of Marvel Knights Spider-Man).

Years later, after the Hulk goes on a deadly rampage in Las Vegas, the Illuminati gather to concoct a plan to trick the Hulk and send him into the depths of space, ostensibly for the good of himself, humanity, and the rest of the super powered race - which we know will have very nasty repercussions later on (in yet another event – World War Hulk – where the Hulk destroys New York, but the event goes unnoticed in the rest of the Marvel titles). However, a troubled Iron Man still foresees a time when the world will turn on its heroes, and he cites Spider-Man as an example of a hero whose life could be wrecked by a the swift change in the country’s attitude.

And that time comes during Civil War #1. The New Warriors, a team comprised of third and fourth string superheroes, led by the ridiculous Speedball, while looking to juice their reality show ratings, raid a group of supervillains hiding out in the ‘burbs. However, the battle goes horribly wrong when Namorita (the Sub Mariner's cousin) goes after Nitro near a schoolyard. Unfortunately, the arrogance of youth results in a disastrous underestimation of just how dangerous this old man really is. True to his moniker, he explodes, incinerating Namorita and hundreds of people, including children. The world is horrified, and led by a not even thinly disguised Cindy Sheehan clone who lost her son in the midst of Nitro's explosion, America begins to ask if something should be done to exercise control over the hordes of super beings in its midst.

As was laid out in earlier months through relentless promotion (“Whose Side are you on?” which to be honest, had its fun moments in the proliferation of photo shopped “I’m With-“ banners some of which were hysterical), Tony Stark and Reed Richards are for Registration, while Captain America is not, believing it to be a violation of the heroes' rights, and a serious hindrance to their work. Ostensibly, SHIELD Commander Maria Hill meets with Captain America to discuss a compromise to the situation, but Hill decides to flash some testosterone and threaten Cap with dire consequences if he doesn't help bring in the uncooperative heroes. The accompanying SHIELD Guard takes aim at Cap and begins an assault, but he escapes and starts a movement of heroes opposed to Registration, which soon becomes law.

In the middle is our torn and conflicted hero Spider-Man, who readily joins Stark's side due to the gratitude that he feels to him for taking his family in after their Forest Hills residence burned down. However, things begin to go sour...not only for him, but for the reader as well, as a thought provoking story goes awry with writers distorting characters (and not even able to write them consistently amongst themselves) and situations to reflect their own politics. But before we critique the story further, let's address the primary question raised:

To Register or not to Register?
In a conversation with Iron Man, SHIELD Commander Hill uses the example of Spider-Man and the Green Goblin to frame the debate going on about the actions the superhuman community should take against those who threaten society. The question is - how many times does Norman Osborn have to kill someone before Spider-Man exacts the ultimate price from him? And for every time that he fails to do so, when does the death toll start to become Spider-Man's fault (actually, this time Hill is arguing on the side of common sense – it’s not Spider-Man’s fault that Norman Osborn is a lunatic)?

Of course, that's a flawed argument, because society couldn't allow Spider-Man to kill Norman Osborn without consequences anymore than it could allow police to shoot criminals on sight, or let US Army invade the projects and start eradicating gang members - no trial, no reports to file. Emotionally, I believe that's the solution to crime. If you kill all the criminals, you have no crime. Intellectually, however, that's a terrible idea. Human beings are far too flawed, far too susceptible to corruption, to be given that kind of power indiscriminately, and inevitably when they are, they turn on not just the criminal element, but everyone that disagrees with them. Even Dirty Harry Callahan realized that while the law sucks at times, we can’t live without it and the boundaries that it sets (what movie is that from folks? It came out before a lot of you were even born, which sadly dates me).

Plus, all vigilantes are criminals in the eyes of the law, no matter how much good they do. And I’m not talking about just the Punisher types who put the punks 6 feet under. None of us can simply walk the streets looking for trouble and routinely beat up the bad guys. We can’t kick the door down of a released child molester and kill him or beat the hell out of him, no matter how much we might like to do it or feel justified (or how much he deserves it). We’re not too far from mob rule and the Baldknobbers when that starts happening. We might be able to get away with it once, particularly when our own may be in jeopardy. It's one thing if you kill a punk who's about to rape your wife, but quite another when you start looking for punks to kill. And, besides, in real life, just how many of the crooks that Spider-Man captured would have their cases thrown out of court because of the zillion technicalities that his actions would cause?

Think about the above referenced Scarlet Witch - who has the power to alter reality. Civil rights aside, would you and I really want someone with this kind of power to be walking around without a leash (that's a metaphorical question you perverts)? A lot of us are simply scared if we see a gathering of THOSE PEOPLE (insert whatever ethnic or religious group you fear here – and you know you do, don’t lie to me) in a single place.

Of course, this presents a problem inherent in our beloved superhero mythology. In the Marvel Universe historically, superheroes were just something that you dealt with (particularly if you lived in New York) like traffic jams, polluted air, and the capriciousness of the weather. But, it isn't real, and couldn't possibly be real, which is one reasons I have always believed that the infamous September 11 inspired Amazing Spider-Man volume 2 #36doesn't really work, except maybe as a pure allegory, because the real world destruction of the twin towers would probably be just "another one of those days" in the Marvel Universe. Trying to impose our reality on the Marvel Universe is a very tricky thing, and takes a certain skill to bring it off - and even then - how long could it truly be sustained before you take events to their logical conclusions?

Also, superhero comics historically didn't deal with the collateral damage caused by superhero/villain battles. There was a brief miniseries during the 1980's called Damage Control which focused on a group whose job was to clean up after these donnybrooks. However, that was a humorous look at the problem - and the collateral damage almost never included scores of accidental deaths of innocent bystanders.

But of course, you couldn't tell those types of stories when the comic reading audience, and the target market, was largely children. It would be hard to portray the Incredible Hulk as a hero when every time Banner flipped out and became his rampaging alter ego, people died (which I suppose is why a lot of his early adventures took place in the sparsely populated desert Southwest). And, super villains never really got what was coming to them, either life long incarceration or the death penalty (which has had an erratic history in New York anyway, and if I am correct is currently not allowed). Prison became a revolving door, because after all, Doc Ock is just too cool of a bad guy to stay on the sidelines too long.

Sometimes this willful denial became ridiculous. I can't speak for other comic series, which I'm sure have more egregious examples, but I'm reminded of one of the greatest shit fests in Spider-Man history, Maximum Carnage, where symbiotic serial killer Carnage and his personal goon squad went on a horrific rampage in New York that resulted in a massacre. And amazingly, no one much really cared. The Federal Government didn't get involved and send in the military, the Governor of New York didn't send in the National Guard, and no one was evacuated. Even the world's super teams just of shrugged it off, as neither the Fantastic Four, nor the Avengers, nor the X-Men could really be bothered to pull themselves from where ever they were and help with the situation ("out of town" "out in space," whatever). Just a bunch of damn crazy New Yorkers acting like, well, New Yorkers.

And the day after it's all over, the denizens of Manhattan Island just went about their daily business, and the subject of registering super powered people, or a better and more permanent means of incarcerating super villains, never came up.

Magically, that is, until now.

All of a sudden, when Banner "hulks out," now people die, now major cities are in ruins (this time Las Vegas) and now the elite of the superhero core actually begin to think amongst themselves "gee, this really doesn't look good for the rest of us and we'd better do something."

Which of course, would have happened a long time ago. The Illuminati (although I don't think they referred to themselves as such) - manage to trick the Hulk and shoot him into deep space, which of course is the genesis of both Planet Hulk and World War Hulk, when an enraged Hulk comes back to earth, two more "events" that I have chosen to ignore. Although I've never liked the Sub Mariner as a character, this is an interesting portrayal as the arrogant, insufferable monarch passionately defends the Hulk, to no avail.

But there are larger issues here, and I can't adequately discuss them all. The reasons that the superhero mythology worked in the past was because both the writers, and the audience, essentially, chose to ignore the reality of what our world would be like if these beings existed. After all, if you don't ignore it, you have no stories. But all of a sudden, now, we're going for "realism." Well, how much do we go for? Are we going to stop right here - with the idea of Superhuman Registration - or are we going to go the whole nine yards, and describe the impacts upon our culture, our political and social institutions, our religions, that would undoubtedly occur if not only superheroes existed, but we were completely aware of all of these marauding aliens out there who want to conquer the earth? Do we want to examine what this world would really be like if we had super brains like Reed Richards and Tony Stark inventing all kinds of gizmos and gadgets (at the very least - there would no longer be the internal combustion engine!). Marvel Earth would be as unrecognizable and alien as any place the Starship Enterprise (no bloody A, B, C, or D) would visit.

So, we're already treading thin on just how far to go with “realism,” because usually what happens is that the writers prefer to focus on some kinds of realism while blatantly ignoring others.

And the other aspect of registration has a darker side - first it's people with super powers who have to register and work for the government. Then who's next? Members of MENSA - because they're allegedly so smart that we need their services to be pledged to our well being and security? Do we take everyone with a nuclear engineering degree and force them to develop bombs for us? After all, if we don't have them all working for the US, and know where each of them are at any one time, they might go over to the terrorists or the Iranians or the Chinese if they pay them enough money.

But what if you have super powers and don't want to work for the government or even be a freelance superhero? What is you just want to be an accountant who happens to have superpowers? What if you just want to be a circus act or have a TV variety show singing with Wayne Brady? But since you have superpowers - you have to be a card carrying SHIELD agent and go punch out bad guys? And even if you do - what happens when you're 40 years old, starting to slip a little - or just get tired of the whole rate race and want to quit? Are you just given a gold watch and a pension - or does the government think you're too dangerous to be walking around and exile you to an island to hang out with other old, retired superheroes (which allegedly happens to spies who retire)?

These are compelling issues that could make for great, dramatic stories - in the right hands and pulled off with the requisite skill. Unfortunately, without careful treading, the power of these issues can easily be marginalized because of the political agendas of the writers.

And before I continue bitching, I want you to know that I really wanted to like this series. Really, I did.

Why? Well, for one, our fanboy wailing gets old - to the point that I fear that no one will listen when we have legitimate gripes because we seem to whine about EVERYTHING. Marvel can't do anything right in our eyes and based on the phenomenal sales of this event, we internet regulars do appear to be a small, embittered, whiny minority that is out of touch with the comic buying public (what little of one there is left). Or, we could simply be a bunch of whiners who no matter what will buy the comics anyway, so why would Marvel have to listen to us since no matter what they do, we will faithfully stand in line at the comics shop (metaphorically) and had over our dollars like mindless junkies in order to get our latest fix.

Also, Marvel is in the business to sell comic books (well, technically, I suppose it's really in the business to license characters to toy companies and movie studios). Lots of comic books. They are supposed stoke the fires and play coy and elusive with where a story is going because they want you to READ IT first. And the personal attacks on Marvel EIC Joe Quesada by the lunatic fringe are embarrassing. The fact that Joe is overweight, for example, doesn't have a damn thing to do with the price of tea in China or the quality (or lack thereof) of Marvel Comics' products. Whether or not his parents were married doesn't either. And besides, if hype were illegal, Stan Lee would have been officially an Enemy of the State.

But, the problem is - when you hype something - you have to deliver - not just in terms of a quality story - but you actually have to deliver the product itself! And Marvel couldn't even do the latter in a timely fashion.

But that's for later.

Spider-Man's perspective on this story was largely told in the seven-part "The War at Home," which ran from Amazing Spider-Man #532-538.

Much like Civil War itself, the first three parts of “The War at Home” were riveting, tense, and you couldn't wait until the next issue. In fact, I dare say it was shaping up to be one of the best Spider-Man stories written under JMS’ tour of duty. Peter Parker is real in these issues, terribly conflicted, as Stark gives him the option of unmasking - or leaving. Of course, as I mention in Secret Identity, the whole concept of Spidey simply unmasking to the Government and not the public, since SHIELD already knows who he is, is never discussed, but I don't want to revisit those arguments. He's so sick with his decision that he vomits in the toilet after his public announcement, and the Daily Bugle sues him for selling pictures of himself all of these years. Even in this tense time, there is humor. Reed Richards calls Peter to congratulate him on coming out at the same time that Pete is talking to Mary Jane, who is sharing the conversation with Aunt May. They are soon joined by Sue Richards and before long everyone is talking EXCEPT Peter, who just webs the phones together and suffers silently. Slowly and surely, you can feel his pain at watching his life has he has known it slowly slip from his grasp. We don't see the reactions of too many of his supporting cast yet, but we see Jonah's and Flash's. Flash, of course, simply doesn't believe it (since he knows Peter has "faked" being Spidey before), and Jonah - well, Jonah's reaction is interesting and right on the money. Rather than going over the top and having him rant and rave, which would have been easy to do, JMS paints Jonah as terribly wounded and betrayed, because, as all of us knew, regardless of his churlish behavior at times, he really does care about Peter Parker. The only thing that rings hollow about this (and this isn't JMS' fault due to how the character has been portrayed over the years) is that Jonah comes across as so incredibly naďve that it really is hard to feel any kind of pity for him. How could he not know?

However, in part 2, issue #533, we already get our first hints that things are going to go very poorly, as Tony announces afterwards that Spider-Man is going to be part of a strike force rounding up the rebellious heroes and tossing them in the can. Aunt May is particularly aghast that Peter may wind up fighting Captain America, a hero to her generation. Spidey later confronts Stark about telling the world before running it by him, and while Tony apologizes, you know that this just the beginning of the inevitable split. In issue #534, we get another instance of the past simply being ignored to make a biased story point, as when Iron Man references Peter’s spider-sense, Pete gets a case of the heebie jeebies because “I never told Tony about my spider sense – only Aunt May and MJ.” And of course, we’re supposed to go “ooooh nooooo, Tony’s probably monitoring Peter through the suit, what a scumbag! But come on – EVERYONE knows about Spidey’s spider sense! Everyone who has fought him knows! Cripes, how many times has he made reference to his "spider sense tingling" in the presence of others? Norman Osborn first figured out how to neuter his spider sense waaaaaaaaaaay back in Amazing Spider-Man #39, which is how he discovered his secret identity. Frankly, this is just a dishonest way to plant that seed of doubt that everything is not on the up and up. And there is the inevitable confrontation between Spidey and Captain America, which ends inconclusively, but with Peter questioning whether or not he's doing the right thing. Hey, it's only natural that he be conflicted at this point and totally in character. Unfortunately, where he goes from here is so far out of character that ever since I feel like I've been reading about some other character, NOT the Spider-Man I've read about for more than 30 years.

Yeah, I know. Grow the hell up, move out of your mama's basement, and stop reading the comic books.

When I originally read Civil War, I thought the first three parts were engrossing and well done, but upon re-reading, they do not hold up under scrutiny because the story it tells is simply not one that can be believed.

My first wretch was when the superheroes are participating in the rescue operation in Stamford, we see the Sentinels of X-Men fame keeping a close eye on the X-Men, with a mother telling her frightened child "The Sentinels are only here to keep an eye on the X-Men for us. They're the good guys." Regular readers of my essays know how stupid I think the whole "X-Men as persecuted and feared minority" is. It presumes that the public would ever make the distinction between super powered beings who obtain their powers by birth or by accident, and decide to embrace one group and shun the other. Under that logic, Franklin Richards, for example, would have been a mutant when he had his superpowers, and Reed and Sue should have had protestors at their door demanding that something be done about their "mutie" child or have a Sentinel as a nanny - right?

Another misfire is patterning a character after that nutjob Cindy Sheehan, who turned her legitimate grief over her son's death in Iraq into a platform to put herself in the national spotlight and get her picture taken with that cuddly teddy bear of democracy Hugo Chavez. Now, if I lost either of my babies for any reason, I'd probably have to be committed, if I didn't just crawl into a hole and want to die. But seeing poorly disguised Cindy clone Miriam Sharpe almost takes one out of the story immediately.

But that's nothing compared to the far more egregious matter when Shield Commander Hill confronts Captain America about the Registration Act and tries to solicit his cooperation. Of course instead of having a conversation, she sets down the ground rules in the most threatening and demonic manner possible with a squad of itchy trigger fingered SHIELD goons ready to take Cap down if he so much as lifts the wrong eyebrow. And of course, while Hill has never been a fan of the Avengers or of the super powered crowd, here she is presented as barely concealing her moustache twirling, threatening Cap and giving him no wiggle room at all. Is this a bad character - or a character just badly written? Cap immediately senses that this is going down wrong and busts out of the SHIELD carrier, hijacking a military plane along the way.

This is too stupid to be believed. First of all, this is Captain F*****g America, the hero of World War II - a war that the current President's father (and make no mistake, the President here is clearly meant to be Bush 43) fought in - and a hero of his father's generation. If you want to enlist Cap's help on a potentially dangerous and divisive issue - then the President of the United States himself meets with Captain America and explains the situation. No President would send it a short-haired, overcompensating dyke to threaten one of the country's greatest heroes, whose moral and social foundation is rooted in the events of the Great Depression and WWII. If I'm the President, I also ask my old man to sit in on the meeting since he, a fellow veteran and member of that generation, would be better able to relate to someone like Cap.

Also, if I'm the President, and stupid enough to let that aforementioned abortion of a meeting, I then call Ms. Hill into my office and demand to know why she felt it was necessary to threaten Captain F*****g America at gunpoint. Then I find myself another Director of SHIELD.

And if I'm Captain America and still don't like what's happening, I tell the President "I am going to walk out of the White House, meet with the reporters, take my mask off and announce my own candidacy for President of the United States." After all, didn't Cap once seriously consider running for the job? (Captain America #250 (October, 1980)). I certainly believe so, as this cover indicates. And then let Tony Stark or anyone try to arrest him when he's a legitimate candidate for President of the United States.

So, this whole thing is wrong, wrong, wrong right off the bat. Is this because the writer crafting the story is not an American citizen - and doesn't understand how the American political system really works? This isn't Great Britain, where the people do not directly elect their Prime Minister, who is chosen from amongst Parliament by the majority party. In America, an individual unconnected with the political machinery CAN run for President (remember Ross Perot from 1992 and 1996 - I do - because I voted for him both times instead of the hacks the two main political parties foisted on us). Cap would have been on TV 24 hours a day - CSPAN, CNN, Fox, MSNBC presenting his case to the people. Hell, if we can get wall to wall quotations from Newt (force out the old Speaker of the House on a flimsy ethics charge and then do the same thing yourself years later) Gingrich, then surely we would get that and more of Captain F*****g America.

The core event of the second issue, of course, is Spider-Man publicly revealing himself as Peter Parker - an event, of course, while probably one of the most significant events in his career, didn't take place in his own magazine. No, the unmasking was in Civil War #2 in order to promote that book. It was also blown by Marvel a week early by releasing a Thunderbolts issue in which an unmasked Peter was giving his press conference. Marvel's disingenuous behavior was compounded by releasing the event to the press before the comic shops even opened the day that Civil War #2 was released!

As far as Peter's motives and rationale for unmasking - I have examined the event at length in Secret Identity, so it would be of little use to tread over that ground again here. But to summarize quickly, while there were indeed many logical reasons for Peter to unmask, the haste in which the decision was made, and the total trust he placed in Tony Stark, were illogical and poorly executed.

Civil War #2 also gives us the passing of the Registration Act and the beginning of the hunting down of unregistered combatants. We also see Stark's anguish about the affair, begging God that it be the right thing to do. That's important, because as we see when we compare Civil War and Amazing Spider-Man, it becomes the Tale of Two Tonys, Tortured Tony and Fascist Tony and Marvel editorial asleep at the switch when it came to ensuring that the character was consistently written. In issue #3, for example, before the first superhero battle between the forces for and against Registration, Stark desperately tries to reach out to Captain America, asking for five minutes to explain his position. It is Cap, however, who breaks the peace, deactivates Tony’s armor and starts the fight. And Spider-Man sees this, which is important for the points I'll make later. < p> Another little observation I want to make. In Civil War #3, Spidey tells Cap that the only ones who win when superheroes fight are the bad guys - and that Cap's actions go against every principle he believed in. Cap then proceeds to tell Spider-Man "Don't talk to me about principles! I saw that little stunt you pulled on TV. Is Mary Jane happy about the Sandman having her zip code now?"

Hmmm - that jogged a memory. So, I reached back into the MadGoblin's Comic Vault and pulled out Marvel Knights Spider-Man #2 (July 2004). Spider-Man breaks into Avengers Mansion looking for help because Aunt May was kidnapped by someone who found out his secret identity (this was before New Avengers). In the midst of the turmoil, Captain America tells him "Going public didn't affect me, either (Iron Man had just commented how archaic the whole secret identity thing was). In fact, not having to maintain two separate lives has actually been very liberating."

My, that seems contradictory. Well, the stories must have been written by two different authors. Let's see, we know that Civil War was written by Mark Millar, so Marvel Knights Spider-Man #2 must have been written by…oh…what a surprise…Mark Millar (this is why Marvel hates aging fanboys).

Coincidentally, or perhaps not, Civil War really starts to go off the tracks in issue #4, as it does in Amazing Spider-Man #535, the 4th part of "The War at Home." Of course, it should also be noted that issue #4 was the first of the mind boggling delays incurred by Marvel, who apparently gave no thought to granting the artist enough lead time to get significant parts of the story in the can before beginning the releases. No, they were already crapping in their pants over DC's Infintite Crisis and the approaching 52 and had to rush their mega blockbuster onto the stands to compete with it - whether it was ready or not. When Marvel EIC Joe Quesada was questioned about the delays, one of the things he used as a defense was that Daredevil #1 was months late.

Daredevil #1? The April 1964 issue?

Please.

Back to the story - the first battle at the end of issue #3 between the pro and anti registration forces comes to a shocking standstill when in the midst of a raging thunderstorm, the Mighty Thor, thought dead, makes a dramatic appearance. However, it becomes quickly apparent that this isn't the Thor of Yore - because this Thunder God, though possessing the bombastic arrogance and flair for Shakespearean speechmaking - clearly lacks the decency and humanity of his namesake. Rather than subduing Giant Man, for example, he uses his hammer to blast a hole clean through his chest, killing him. Turns out that this Thor is a combination clone (from hair sample Stark swiped many years ago) and cyborg - and a damn defective one at that. He was promptly dubbed "Clor" by the internet faithful, much to the chagrin of certain Marvel staffers, which naturally, of course, just made us want to use the moniker more!

Clor, Clor, Clor, Clor, Clor.

And having watched this horror unfold, the reactions of the pro-registration forces, particularly Spider-Man, are inexplicably muted. Spidey's sole reaction is a somber "I thought you said you knew what you were doing, Tony." Now, while I can see some of the other heroes having more measured responses - this wouldn't have been the case with our hot-tempered superhero. After all, if ANYONE in the Marvel Universe knows about the dangers of defective clones - it's Spider-Man. The Spider-Man we all know would have been in Stark's face immediately, with memories of Kaine and that thing that eventually became Spidercide painfully brought to the forefront. On the other hand, maybe it is for the best that Spidercide be forgotten.

Both Stark and Hank Pym are shattered by this event, particularly the latter. Tony pays for Giant-Man's funeral (and all 38 burial plots), and Pym in particular agonizes over why Clor malfunctioned. However, we never get an answer. During the funeral, Reed Richards notes that Peter Parker is beginning to act very, very suspiciously. Although how he comes to that assessment is dubious, considering that all we see is Peter talking under his breath to Mary Jane and Aunt May, which could be anything from "we leave at midnight" to "does this rain coat make me look fat?" Oh well - we have to start telegraphing where the rest of the story is going to go.

Although I have real problems with the inconsistent manner in which Tony Stark is portrayed between various storylines, I must confess that I'm not too surprised at Reed Richard's perspective on the whole matter. I believe that many intellectuals from both sides of the political spectrum have something of a fascist streak in them, but not always a deliberately malevolent one. Intellectuals tend to want order, not chaos, and sometimes seem to prefer the certainty of authoritarianism over the uncertainty of democracy. And yes, I do realize that rationale is a generalization and you will be able to provide numerous examples of how it isn't true. However, in Reed Richard's case, I think it is. Still, while I can see Reed being guilty of such clueless and naivete, but not Stark. I find it difficult to believe that Stark didn't realize how bad things could get. A man who is doomed to forever be a recovering alcoholic (no one is ever cured of alcoholism - recovery takes a lifetime) should know that anything that can WILL go wrong, particularly when dealing with people with super powers, super intellects, and super egos.

We can't really talk about Civil War #4 without talking about Sue's infamous letter to Reed, where she essentially tells him he's a fascist pig and she's leaving him. However, she cooked dinner for him, brought wine, gave him some sheet action, and left the kids with him. Many female readers (well, what few of them there are in our little fraternity I suppose) were really upset about this, and called Millar something of a misogynist. I suspect that it was the sex part that mostly got their knickers in an uproar. If Sue had got drunk, cooked dinner and left it on the table for him next to a note with a big F***Y**, I doubt they would have been too upset.

I hate to make judgments on how every woman would behave in a similar situation, because I don't know how every woman would behave. I can't even consistently guess how my own wife will behave, and I've been married to her just over a year shy of 20 years. And regardless of some of the invective of some of the critics of my Mary Jane and Gwen articles, they don't know how every woman would act, either. But I do know what would happen in my household:

1. No dinner,
2. No wine,
3. No sex; and
4. No kids.

And we won't even talk about the language in the letter she would write. She would say my parents were ever married, call my mother a dog, imply that I had an Oedipus Complex - and those would just be the nice parts. If there's one thing I can see contradicting the above is that if my wife were to live as a fugitive, with a chance of being killed (not the usual custodial disappearance), she might decide that no matter how pissed she was at me, she wouldn't want to put the kids through that. Sue quite correctly deduced that they would be the safest right where they were.

I don't know anything about Millar's personal life - but if he's married - then his wife must be a saint, because neither my wife, nor any spouse I know, would have given Reed (1)(2)and especially (3) if they were that pissed at him.

Anyway, during the battle, Iron Man must have literally beaten Captain America senseless, because Cap becomes even more stubborn and intractable. He begins to sound like a demagogue too obsessed and preoccupied to realize that he just might not be in the right of the matter, even though Iron Man is trying to give him every chance in the world to change his mind. As a result, some of his recruits begin to defect.

However, Reed and Tony decide to do something REALLY stupid, which I honestly can't see them doing, particularly since the death of Bill Foster was turning the tide of public opinion against them. And that's signing up with these goons to hunt the non-compliant heroes down. Let's see, you're already taking it on the chin in the public arena because your robot monster Clor incinerated the heart of a fellow superhero, so now you're REALLY going to risk public wrath as well as the wrath of members of your own team. Wasn't Tony was a Secretary of Defense? Don't you think he would be a little more politically astute than what he's showing? Yeah, that's Venom, one of the deadliest enemies of "I want you to stand by my side as my #2" Peter Parker. That'll shore up his wavering loyalties. And oh yeah, that's Bullseye, who only killed two of Matt Murdock's women (although one got better - it's a mystical ninja thing) and is a serious lunatic. And the hits just keep on coming.

And that doesn't even count what Tony's got cooking with Norman Osborn.